I'm attempting to write my third paper at Mars Hill Graduate School. The assignment is to script a conversation with Harry Middleton, the author of The Earth is Enough. The topic of the dialogue is the Gospel, but there is a twist. We are supposed to engage Harry in the Gospel through the categories of faith, hope, and love without being overtly religious or discussing the categories directly.
This is already a challenging assignment, but I've realized that my struggle with the assignment runs a bit deeper. For the past few weeks, I've been battling in my heart over my own faith, hope, and love (more on that struggle in another post). And every time I set out to write, I quickly run aground.
What can I offer this man? His faith, hope, and love don't derive from the same story as mine, but at least they seem grounded in something. That's more than I can say for myself at the moment.
As I've reflected, I realize I've been trying to figure out a way to frame the story in a way that my battle is absent. In the last hour, I finally realized that this notion is completely ridiculous. More importantly, I realize that not having my own crap figured out doesn’t excuse me from the call to carry forth the Kingdom.
If I'm going to be authentic, I have to write this dialogue from within my own crisis. I can’t pretend I’m free of it. If I make believe in this context, what am I going to do in real conversations? I have to wrestle in order to overcome. I have to be willing to learn. And I have to accept that my voice can offer something meaningful, even when my own faith, hope, and love are in a state of disruption. If for no other reason, my voice is relevant simply because His spirit lives in me. Does this not mean that my voice carries the words of Christ? The only question now is do I believe this idea enough to live it?
